BinderBot Model 4.221

“[T]hey called it ‘toiling in the scanner mines’ and they weren’t kidding. It was a hole, a basement in the old courthouse, nothing but me and a century of old documents that needed to be digitized. At least at first. I begged for help, just some company at least – hell, a cat – and they got me a few of those ‘bots, the ones made out of office supplies. The work went faster, but. . . I swear one of them snapped at me. This was a good year, year and a half before, you know.” Excerpt from Madison Marlowe’s The Technocrat Wars, Meanwhile Press, 2033.

Turtle Power

So, the tubes are afire with news of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

I am a HUGE Turtles fan. I was a kid when they hit the big time, the target demographic for the cartoon series. Later I got the now-rare collections of the original comics and loved them even more, because the comics were actually even more bizarre and fun than the cartoons. I played all the video games. I enjoyed the original movie and I think it holds up decently despite the cheese. I had a poster of them on my wall well into my 20s and still have that poster somewhere, because it’s totally badass. I have one of the totally awesome Leonardo figures they came out with a couple years ago. Of the various franchises I grew up with (GiJoe, Transformers, etc.), the Turtles are probably my most beloved.

People are outraged because of potential changes to the Turtles’ origin story. Well, I, for one, do not care. They can change all they want.

Because it’s being made by Michael Bay, and the film is going to be a giant pile of shit no matter what. There is nothing in his history of film that tells me otherwise. His Transformers weren’t even recognizable, much less watchable.

I am already tired of the internet machine and all the “debates” that are going to be raging from now until after the movie comes out. Uh. Just sick of it. We all need to just agree it’s going to be horrible now and then completely ignore it from here on out.

Please? Internet? Just this once?

BinderBot Model 3.24

“We thought them so harmless. They were cute. Anyone could put one together using whatever was lying around, then apply a dab of nanoboard from Section 17, instant helper ‘bot around the office. Perfect replacement for interns and temps, efficiency jumped forty percent. We had no idea they were building a bureaucracy of their own…” Excerpt from Madison Marlowe’s The Technocrat Wars, Meanwhile Press, 2033.

Fundamental

We writers have a fundamental problem of being too damn sexy. As usual, Neil Gaiman has the answer.

Well this past year was pretty much a total bust for me. I sold the last story I wrote (literally days before the baby arrived), and got my Honorable Mention from the distinguished Writers of the Future, but otherwise I got nothing done. I’m working on ways to make time to write, though, possibly re-arranging my schedule a bit and re-programming the portions of my brain the control when I find it reasonable to wake up in the morning. So we’ll see.

Meanwhile, I just read this, and it’s probably the most fun I’ve had reading anything lately. You should check it out.